Golf Outings for Dummies

Charles Barkley is #5 and #8, and maybe #12. Where do you fit in?

Summertime is, of course, a great time for golf. There are casual rounds with friends, company outings, group outings, etc. Often, these outings use the scramble format. Sometimes you know the people you're playing with, and sometimes you get stuck with some interesting characters. We have a fraternity golf outing coming up, and I got to thinking how many different types of guys you could have in your scramble foursome. Do you have an outing coming up? If so, you might find some of these people in your group.

1. The Ultra Serious Golfer
This guy is always talking strategy for the foursome. He may or may not be a good golfer, but he thinks he's smarter than everyone by suggesting that "on this hole, we should try to bomb one out there." Thanks for the advice, Gary McCord. He's obsessed with winning. Even when the team is two over after 16 holes, he insists that we still stick to "our strategy," which is actually "his strategy." Usually an insufferable prick.

2. The Guy Who Thinks He's Good, But He's Not
This guy is always insisting that he go last because he's an "A player." His handicap card, which he takes out of his wallet and shows you three times during the round, says that he's an 8, but his scattershot drives tell you otherwise. He routinely turns in bogus scores so he can brag about his handicap. He's got the best equipment and latest technology (laser range finder, training aids, practice putting rig).

3. Drunk Guy
This guy is most likely not a good golfer. His main goal is to find the beer cart girl, and he will...

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