Duffers Guide to Water
If only Richard Finch had hired this dog...
We’re the lucky ones because we take water for granted and yet, despite the hazard
it provides on the golf course, it is one of nature’s most versatile elements. Nevertheless,
it has led to a few farcical faux pas involving the Royal & Ancient game down
the years.
1. You should have known better
The laws of physics (well, to be completely accurate, Newton’s third law of motion,
first propounded in his 1687 best-seller Philosophiae Naturalis Principia Mathematica),
dictate that every action has an opposite and equal reaction. This elementary truth
was quite obviously overlooked by Richard Finch (the dummy) as he played to the final
green of the Irish Open, en route to victory. By balancing precariously on the bank
of a river to play his third shot, Richard temporarily forgot this law and as a consequence,
the vigorous motion of swing a club caused him to fall backwards into the river –
we’re delighted to say.
2. Angling for a trout
The River Maigue, into which Richard fell so comprehensively, rises in the Ballyhoura
Mountains of north County Cork and flows through Croom and Adare in County Limerick
before entering the estuary of the River Shannon just north of Askeaton. Apart from
playing host to visiting golfers, it is best known as one of Ireland’s best rivers
for brown trout anglers.
3. One or two strokes
Most golfers would rather see their ball dive into the rough than finish in a water
hazard and yet, if you can’t find it in the long grass, it’s stroke and distance,
whereas if you ball ends up in the aqua you get to drop alongside, or behind the hazard.
The former effectively costs you two shots, the latter only one. So next time your
precious Titleist (or in the case of our editor, Penfold Ace) is heading off line,
pray that it goes into...

